Crew(Rowing)

They told me hell awaited me
Told me I would visit the brink of the valley of the shadow of death
That I would see the devils scull, enter it
That I would sit within the burning shell of some cruel dragons egg
They told me and I listened

I am self, my self, no one else
I am self; I am I, nothing else

I am on the erg approaching the verge, stepping closer and closer–I pull over and over, approaching that which is not mine, but Dante’s
I pull hard, push hard, pull the machine, push the machine,
I am not the machine
I am not the machine
I am the machine
I stare at the time, the distance, the averages, making calculations between exasperations
Then after years, after eternities, after mere seconds
It is done
Are those tears, or sweat?
It does not matter, so I do not care
It does not matter, except it does
It does not matter, except it proves I am human
I am self

I lift the boat, my back straight, I try not to quiver, my shoulder bruising
Are the others lifting anything at all, or is the extra weight cause I’m too tall

I have become like the dark side of the moon, completely waned
No proof I am sane, I am muscle not brain
I only need to learn to erase all pain

Then into the water, the splash, that mocking splash of nature enjoying herself
Nature reminding me of how unnatural this all this

I am a seat, I am a side, I am a part of the pair
I am in the boat,
I am rowing

Legs, Back, Arms, Arms, Back, Legs Repeat
How is that difficult?
There are no tricks in this sport, no fake outs, no special moves
The goal is to do the same thing over and over, perfectly, one thing, one motion, but like one machine there are many parts, and I seem to be losing mine

I am a boat, I am no longer self, I am no longer a seat, a side
I am one piece, one part of the whole

I am not self, I am not self, I am not self

But it hurts, what hurts, machines don’t hurt, boats don’t hurt
Selves’ hurt, the self hurts

You are not self, I am not self, we are not self

And then I’m there

The world slows down, my back is straight, my arms go out, my body pivots and follows, my legs compress, my wrist turning, I’m gliding, flying, then I drop it

Pull the perfect stroke, and glide once more

I am water, I am air, I am stroke, I am boat, I am machine, I am side, I am pair, I am part, I am self, I am a rower, I am a warrior who has won

This poem was written/submitted by yayanoho.